history repeats itself, time and again
i'm sick of the false pretences. really. just say it out blunt, and it'll go easier on me. first you plan something that only a few people know of. then supposedly the information was passed down to the rest but it never was. even the the information keeps changing at your whim and fancy. if your place, time and activity keeps changing, what the hell is going on? you're just trying to dump us off, that's what.
it's not even like bad communication or bad planning. if it was either of the above i expect some mess, and i expect that at least those higher up in the hierarchy knows what's going on. but noooo. only THOSE few people know. last year, not even the CT rep. this year, not even the exco! same situation, same despicable act, different circumstances. what does that say about people? i don't need to say it out, i think.
...
Speaking of people, as days pass i find myself losing more and more faith in people. i've told of this to various people, and ordinarily someoen would have raised the alarm about depression or suicidal tendencies but somehow i've been told there's no worry because i've "got my head screwed on tight". is it because my arguments for this view are strong and convincing? or do people just brush it off as a passing trend? better not, because far from passing it's getting worse.
the quote "most people are scum" or "people are scum" came from me. i now have to change it. i was dead wrong. boy was i wrong. it should now read "ALL people are scum".
i've had enough, i'm not willing to take any more risks helping or trusting people. there are last two friends whom i still have faith in the complete link with. as for the rest, good luck. i may remain a good friend, share joy, share your situation, be around with you, but i highly doubt i'll ever tell you my inner stories, or let you know my person at all. just not worth it any longer. just opening myself to the vulnerablility of getting hurt more.
everyone tells me i need friends. and i ask them in turn: define friends. handing out ammunition that can potentially come back to haunt you, well i'd rather not. said this before and i'll say it again. life isn't a popularity contest. i don't need hoards of people going goo-goo over me. i don't need to try and fit in with everyone else. i am who i am. if you can't accept me for that, then goodbye, have a nice day. i don't need many friends, i need good, loyal ones. if there aren't any such people left, i can strike out on my own. the human spirit is a lot more resilient than you might think.
To the few people concerned, maybe you don't recognize when words hurt. i certainly don't, at times. but it is these things that break that bond of trust and loyalty. i'm sorry, maybe next time (if there is one) i should make it more clear.
P.S. as you can tell i'm not in the most jovial of moods. so i give a fair warning here. any flames, insults or pointless posting will get you an IMMEDIATE ban plus deletion, no questions asked.
it's not even like bad communication or bad planning. if it was either of the above i expect some mess, and i expect that at least those higher up in the hierarchy knows what's going on. but noooo. only THOSE few people know. last year, not even the CT rep. this year, not even the exco! same situation, same despicable act, different circumstances. what does that say about people? i don't need to say it out, i think.
...
Speaking of people, as days pass i find myself losing more and more faith in people. i've told of this to various people, and ordinarily someoen would have raised the alarm about depression or suicidal tendencies but somehow i've been told there's no worry because i've "got my head screwed on tight". is it because my arguments for this view are strong and convincing? or do people just brush it off as a passing trend? better not, because far from passing it's getting worse.
the quote "most people are scum" or "people are scum" came from me. i now have to change it. i was dead wrong. boy was i wrong. it should now read "ALL people are scum".
i've had enough, i'm not willing to take any more risks helping or trusting people. there are last two friends whom i still have faith in the complete link with. as for the rest, good luck. i may remain a good friend, share joy, share your situation, be around with you, but i highly doubt i'll ever tell you my inner stories, or let you know my person at all. just not worth it any longer. just opening myself to the vulnerablility of getting hurt more.
everyone tells me i need friends. and i ask them in turn: define friends. handing out ammunition that can potentially come back to haunt you, well i'd rather not. said this before and i'll say it again. life isn't a popularity contest. i don't need hoards of people going goo-goo over me. i don't need to try and fit in with everyone else. i am who i am. if you can't accept me for that, then goodbye, have a nice day. i don't need many friends, i need good, loyal ones. if there aren't any such people left, i can strike out on my own. the human spirit is a lot more resilient than you might think.
To the few people concerned, maybe you don't recognize when words hurt. i certainly don't, at times. but it is these things that break that bond of trust and loyalty. i'm sorry, maybe next time (if there is one) i should make it more clear.
P.S. as you can tell i'm not in the most jovial of moods. so i give a fair warning here. any flames, insults or pointless posting will get you an IMMEDIATE ban plus deletion, no questions asked.
posted by CHENZ | 10:10 AM
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