WAKE UP!
an apology in advance, this is going to be somewhat of a rant. and when i do that, emotion takes over logic. sorry, i don't do this very often, but i have to get stuff out of my system. if any constructive criticism comes out of it (in posts, comments or anything) they'd be appreciated. if it's just going to be baseless insults, slanders and tempers, then i'm going to ignore them. as you probably already know, i'm not in for a popularity contest. in this world, yes friends make a better place and all that, but if you can't stand up on your own and stand up for what's right, then you're not amounitng to much in this world anyway.
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it's ironic... no, laughably hilarious, that the very perpertrators of a situation should be the first to complain and lament about the situation. i have no issue with that. honestly speaking i have no issue with that and sometimes i'm quite happy too that some other people see the problem. what i have a problem, a BIG issue with is the way the problem is put across. the tone, the sublimal messaging, i don't care if otehr people keep quiet about it. i'm NOT going to keep quiet about something if it's blatantly untrue. the way it comes across, every thing leading up to the current situation is OUR fault.
complain about us not sharing a table or talking at lunch? who's the people who exclude us from the discussions in the first place? turning your back 45 degrees IS a non-verbal signal for "go away" for those who are ignorant. shutting down conversation topics we try to start isn't the best way to get us to talk. being excluded from a conversation is never nice and is never a nice feeling. it just shows disrespect for the person trying to join in. after a while, the hint gets across and it becomes "why bother trying to enter the conversation?" if you don't know how it feels like, do please try and enter conversations in which a select few are talking loudly, ignoring whatever you say. then maybe you'll get an idea.
we don't participate in activities, and participation is minimal? perhaps if we KNEW about the damn activities we would have been more involved. but no, it's always organized and catered to the same few people, and the rest are rarely invited. how many times has it been that outings and such were organized, and that everyone was invited? and how many times when a FEW people can't make it the whole thing is called off? search deep and tell me the answer.
that aside, how many times have we actually caught on to the plan and asked about it, only to be brushed off? how many times has it been when blatant signals are given to get off your back? and how many times have some of us (or at least me) tried to come along anyway and gotten shaken off delibrately mid-way? the first time it happened, i was pissed but i forgave (after due apology). the second time i was annoyed but still tolerated. the third time, i gave up. why should i put so much effort into trying to attend and participate when equal effort is being put into trying to shake us off? might as well conserve that energy and direct it elsewhere. benefits all of us.
and to the times that everyone is invited, who are you kidding? for everyone? or for a select few? please, when it's blatantly obvious you treat us as invisibles, there to add up to the number we lose the purpose of coming. it's just wasting our time and energy. why try to interact at all if we're supposed to be invisible, unseen and unheard?
last point: we don't comfort or help. suuuure we don't. we once used to. we gave up. same as all the above. we are nice people, contrary to the inset belief. we don't want to stay to ourselves. but what we want is respect, and after a while, if we find that isn't coming through then we give up. i have always been there to listen to people's problems, sometimes offering solutions. and sometimes i'm fast to pick up on behavioural changes because of non-verbal signals. but no, every single time i get a brush-off "why do you care?" "nothing at all, really" "go away don't bother me" are the responses i get for trying to show concern. we don't show it? maybe because we're DISCOURAGED from showing it, yes?
like i said much earlier on, i have no problems with people speaking about the problem. even i do, sometimes. but it's the way you put it across. saying "why is the situation like that, why do you people not do this, not do that, do you know it's hurting us blah blah blah" is NOT the right way to go around. fine, maybe you need another perspective, fine, maybe you tried to be persuasive and ended up being one-sided. what you should know is that a truly effective persuasion has a through understanding of the FULL story and not "it's their fault, all their fault". i sound biased? read what you read again today, it does come across as very offensive.
................................................................................................................
i'm done. awaiting comments, flames, whatever. i wrote this fully aware of potential trouble i might cause, but i would not take this lying down. when an attack has been made of great injustice, there are times when you should stand up to speak. it may mend the tear, it may enlarge the gorge, i don't know. all i know is, things would not be the same after this.
awaiting your inputs...
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it's ironic... no, laughably hilarious, that the very perpertrators of a situation should be the first to complain and lament about the situation. i have no issue with that. honestly speaking i have no issue with that and sometimes i'm quite happy too that some other people see the problem. what i have a problem, a BIG issue with is the way the problem is put across. the tone, the sublimal messaging, i don't care if otehr people keep quiet about it. i'm NOT going to keep quiet about something if it's blatantly untrue. the way it comes across, every thing leading up to the current situation is OUR fault.
complain about us not sharing a table or talking at lunch? who's the people who exclude us from the discussions in the first place? turning your back 45 degrees IS a non-verbal signal for "go away" for those who are ignorant. shutting down conversation topics we try to start isn't the best way to get us to talk. being excluded from a conversation is never nice and is never a nice feeling. it just shows disrespect for the person trying to join in. after a while, the hint gets across and it becomes "why bother trying to enter the conversation?" if you don't know how it feels like, do please try and enter conversations in which a select few are talking loudly, ignoring whatever you say. then maybe you'll get an idea.
we don't participate in activities, and participation is minimal? perhaps if we KNEW about the damn activities we would have been more involved. but no, it's always organized and catered to the same few people, and the rest are rarely invited. how many times has it been that outings and such were organized, and that everyone was invited? and how many times when a FEW people can't make it the whole thing is called off? search deep and tell me the answer.
that aside, how many times have we actually caught on to the plan and asked about it, only to be brushed off? how many times has it been when blatant signals are given to get off your back? and how many times have some of us (or at least me) tried to come along anyway and gotten shaken off delibrately mid-way? the first time it happened, i was pissed but i forgave (after due apology). the second time i was annoyed but still tolerated. the third time, i gave up. why should i put so much effort into trying to attend and participate when equal effort is being put into trying to shake us off? might as well conserve that energy and direct it elsewhere. benefits all of us.
and to the times that everyone is invited, who are you kidding? for everyone? or for a select few? please, when it's blatantly obvious you treat us as invisibles, there to add up to the number we lose the purpose of coming. it's just wasting our time and energy. why try to interact at all if we're supposed to be invisible, unseen and unheard?
last point: we don't comfort or help. suuuure we don't. we once used to. we gave up. same as all the above. we are nice people, contrary to the inset belief. we don't want to stay to ourselves. but what we want is respect, and after a while, if we find that isn't coming through then we give up. i have always been there to listen to people's problems, sometimes offering solutions. and sometimes i'm fast to pick up on behavioural changes because of non-verbal signals. but no, every single time i get a brush-off "why do you care?" "nothing at all, really" "go away don't bother me" are the responses i get for trying to show concern. we don't show it? maybe because we're DISCOURAGED from showing it, yes?
like i said much earlier on, i have no problems with people speaking about the problem. even i do, sometimes. but it's the way you put it across. saying "why is the situation like that, why do you people not do this, not do that, do you know it's hurting us blah blah blah" is NOT the right way to go around. fine, maybe you need another perspective, fine, maybe you tried to be persuasive and ended up being one-sided. what you should know is that a truly effective persuasion has a through understanding of the FULL story and not "it's their fault, all their fault". i sound biased? read what you read again today, it does come across as very offensive.
................................................................................................................
i'm done. awaiting comments, flames, whatever. i wrote this fully aware of potential trouble i might cause, but i would not take this lying down. when an attack has been made of great injustice, there are times when you should stand up to speak. it may mend the tear, it may enlarge the gorge, i don't know. all i know is, things would not be the same after this.
awaiting your inputs...
posted by CHENZ | 7:17 AM
1 Comments:
my input:
firstly u wanna say something, say it in front of me, dun put ur views in some discrete corner of the Internet and expect me to "put in my views".
secondly, dun put words into my mouth. my speech was never meant to accuse pple of not doing this or that.
thirdly, if u r offended when i answered curtly to ur queries bout "class lunch" earlier this yr, i'm sorry but hav u ever thot bout how "encouraging" it was for me when i planned and thot bout the class lunch so much but in the end only a quarter of the class could go? wat's the point of a class lunch with only 5 or 6 pple. i kind of "gave up".
and if u consider 3 quarter of the class as "FEW", i suggest u revise ur math.
if u dunno ur facts, get them right before u start accusing me.
4. SINCE WHEN DID I SAY WE DUN COMFORT OR HELP? DON'T PUT WORDS INTO MY MOUTH. I AM VERY SURE TT I SAID IN MY SPEECH TT OUR CLASS DO HELP / COMFORT EACH OTHER.
pls listen with an open mind and not shut out words so tt they sound like what u can critic on.
5. u think i said my speech without knowing what u will say? u think i naively thought tt my speech will mend everything?
"i'm done. awaiting comments, flames, whatever. i wrote this fully aware of potential trouble i might cause, but i would not take this lying down. when an attack has been made of great injustice, there are times when you should stand up to speak. it may mend the tear, it may enlarge the gorge, i don't know. all i know is, things would not be the same after this."
read what u wrote, chenzhen. like what u wrote, i stood up and spoke. and got flamed unknowingly on some corner of the Internet.
u think ur ideas represent the class? think again. pple from our class actually wrote notes on vday to express their views. and i dare say their views r the exact opposite of urs.
dun impose ur ideas on pple, great mind.
anyway, happy chinese new yr!
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