everyone treasures what they've already lost
it's been a long time since i came back here to post. mostly because i'm away from home. but also because i haven't been thinking much. and i hate posting something about nothing 'cause it kinda debilitates your intelligence. i can already feel my mind rusting away, watchng the damn sampans drift lazily past ont eh straits of johore (not that it hasn't already rotted to the core in BMT, but that's another story.)
friend of mine told me a few days back that she joined a discussion with a group of people on which the topic was on her need to go find a soulmate. i shan't speculate on the results of that discussion but it did ring off quite a lot in my mind.
ordinarily speaking and the social norm is that women need a soulmate a lot more. i'm not going to explain that, i think if you ask around that would be the general consensus. and everyone also knows that women look out for stability, support etc while men are generally less picky about that. that's all common knowledge so i shan't give it too much room here.
medically speaking, however, being attached, engaged or married seems to bring about greater benefits for men than women. statistics have shown this in terms of substance (alcohol, drug, gaming etc) addiction as well as tendency to fall ill, and average lifespan. the reason for this is still out waiting for someone with a PhD to proclaim but my personal guess would be that it's because women still have their social network to rely on.
but i'm not here to talk about who wants whom or who depends on whom. that's idle chatter. the bottom line is that they need each other, or there would be mass orgies and not marriage, for the sake of reproduction. however, isn't it kinda as of late that more and more people take each other for granted? like not thinking about what the other person feels, thinks etc. well, we're not psychics and we generally screw up, even me. but there's just this feeling i get that the relationship somehow isn't treasured greatly when you're in it. does anyone else have this experience?
okay, so not just relationships, even family, friends stuff like that. sometimes we just brush past each other, like a giagantic "X" meeting at a point and then parting forever. even family ties get loose after time.
yes, yes, i know, life is busy. everyone's climbing the corporate ladder, getting a larger salary, getting a better car, a better house, blah blah. and we keep telling ourselves there will come a day where there will be more time, after the taxes are paid, after the mortgage is done, after we upgrade the house... but that day never comes. it just gets busier and busier. a car that increases its speed all the time will wear out pretty soon, or hit an accident. so why should it be different for us?
if anyone read the history of the 9/11 incident, in some cases the authors have included what happened on the last moments before the crash. mobiles phones sent out hundreds of messages to friends, relatives, children, lovers. passengers on the plane called in the last minute of their lives, while those in the building did the same. yet, the general context of the messages and calls were the same. they didn't mention the size of their salary, their rank within the various corporations or the luxuries they have. no. the same three words echoed, sent, received and sent again. lovers to lovers, parents to children, siblings to their family. and friends to friends.
one guy spoke of the harshness of prison life. (this is based in US, i believe). the visiting room has a square table, and 4 chairs nailed to the ground. one chair is in red, and the prisoner sits on it when others are visiting. some family members bring their children, so the prisoners get to see their flesh and blood. yet, as the kids play at a small corner where the playpen is located, the parent can do no more than watch them and smile. sometimes the child calls out for the prisoner, at other times the child may trip and need assistance. i hope everyone out there can imagine the feeling when you get up in those circumstances, only to be yelled at by the warden "hey you! get back in the chair!"
a little closer to home, one of the sergeants i've been working with is married and his wife has just given birth. (he's only 3 years older than me, but i guess it's their choice) of course, as per the rule, he was given 2-3 days of paternity leave. he was able to be there to see his child born, and be there for his wife in the delivery room. but what about after that? he's stuck in the camp like us, executing operations under the sun. he doesn't get to see his child's first week, nor first month. he doesn't even get to call home because the place where we are at has no cellphone reception. can you imagine his anxiety when his wife fell sick with a high fever not even one week after delivery? i hope nobody else out there has to experience that.
make some time out for those who are important to you. it's useless to mourn and regret when these times are gone. resist taking on a large project over the weekend and spend some time with the family, or find a week where everyone is free and take a vacation. after all, the now only happens once, and it'd be a great mistake to leave it, only to find that one has lost everything at a later stage.
friend of mine told me a few days back that she joined a discussion with a group of people on which the topic was on her need to go find a soulmate. i shan't speculate on the results of that discussion but it did ring off quite a lot in my mind.
ordinarily speaking and the social norm is that women need a soulmate a lot more. i'm not going to explain that, i think if you ask around that would be the general consensus. and everyone also knows that women look out for stability, support etc while men are generally less picky about that. that's all common knowledge so i shan't give it too much room here.
medically speaking, however, being attached, engaged or married seems to bring about greater benefits for men than women. statistics have shown this in terms of substance (alcohol, drug, gaming etc) addiction as well as tendency to fall ill, and average lifespan. the reason for this is still out waiting for someone with a PhD to proclaim but my personal guess would be that it's because women still have their social network to rely on.
but i'm not here to talk about who wants whom or who depends on whom. that's idle chatter. the bottom line is that they need each other, or there would be mass orgies and not marriage, for the sake of reproduction. however, isn't it kinda as of late that more and more people take each other for granted? like not thinking about what the other person feels, thinks etc. well, we're not psychics and we generally screw up, even me. but there's just this feeling i get that the relationship somehow isn't treasured greatly when you're in it. does anyone else have this experience?
okay, so not just relationships, even family, friends stuff like that. sometimes we just brush past each other, like a giagantic "X" meeting at a point and then parting forever. even family ties get loose after time.
yes, yes, i know, life is busy. everyone's climbing the corporate ladder, getting a larger salary, getting a better car, a better house, blah blah. and we keep telling ourselves there will come a day where there will be more time, after the taxes are paid, after the mortgage is done, after we upgrade the house... but that day never comes. it just gets busier and busier. a car that increases its speed all the time will wear out pretty soon, or hit an accident. so why should it be different for us?
if anyone read the history of the 9/11 incident, in some cases the authors have included what happened on the last moments before the crash. mobiles phones sent out hundreds of messages to friends, relatives, children, lovers. passengers on the plane called in the last minute of their lives, while those in the building did the same. yet, the general context of the messages and calls were the same. they didn't mention the size of their salary, their rank within the various corporations or the luxuries they have. no. the same three words echoed, sent, received and sent again. lovers to lovers, parents to children, siblings to their family. and friends to friends.
one guy spoke of the harshness of prison life. (this is based in US, i believe). the visiting room has a square table, and 4 chairs nailed to the ground. one chair is in red, and the prisoner sits on it when others are visiting. some family members bring their children, so the prisoners get to see their flesh and blood. yet, as the kids play at a small corner where the playpen is located, the parent can do no more than watch them and smile. sometimes the child calls out for the prisoner, at other times the child may trip and need assistance. i hope everyone out there can imagine the feeling when you get up in those circumstances, only to be yelled at by the warden "hey you! get back in the chair!"
a little closer to home, one of the sergeants i've been working with is married and his wife has just given birth. (he's only 3 years older than me, but i guess it's their choice) of course, as per the rule, he was given 2-3 days of paternity leave. he was able to be there to see his child born, and be there for his wife in the delivery room. but what about after that? he's stuck in the camp like us, executing operations under the sun. he doesn't get to see his child's first week, nor first month. he doesn't even get to call home because the place where we are at has no cellphone reception. can you imagine his anxiety when his wife fell sick with a high fever not even one week after delivery? i hope nobody else out there has to experience that.
make some time out for those who are important to you. it's useless to mourn and regret when these times are gone. resist taking on a large project over the weekend and spend some time with the family, or find a week where everyone is free and take a vacation. after all, the now only happens once, and it'd be a great mistake to leave it, only to find that one has lost everything at a later stage.
posted by CHENZ | 3:26 AM
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