this is becoming once a week... but who's complaining?

erm, no i don't exactly remember...
could you be nice and jog my memory a bit? might be the fact i'm not thinking very straight now =]

oh, and i finally figured out what's wrong with the current situation, in addition to the fact of lousy leadership i wrote about quite some time ago. woot. that's always good. see, people like to be appreciated and feel like they're actually doing something to help. what would you feel like if everytime you came to work and your boss or colleague tells you "no don't do that, you're obstructing me" "nono, go away and don't bother me" "no, i don't trust you with this, go somewhere else" "just go there and do that simple thing, at least you won't screw up there". day after day after day. you still want to go back if you had a choice? i think not >_>. come to think of it, it's like the perfect plan to get rid of someone, he'll even leave voluntarily >:-]

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ok, topic of discussion for today: actually i've got three, but never mind...

first one would be subject of death... well this came after watching that anime showed during our jap club meeting anyway... but er-hem... say you had the power to condemn someone to hell instantaneously, but on condition that if you use that power, after your death you will be condemned to hell eternally quote "never knowing peace or paradise" unquote. sooooo ... question is... when would you use that power and under what circumstances? not an easy thing to answer... on impulse? on hopeless cases?

another thing.. which i also thought of while watching that damn film, btw... was about people appealing to higher authorities about small matters. i dunno, personally i feel that people who have to go rely on higher authorities, or lean on power, or something along that line are just incapable. incapable of standing up for themselves, that's why they need support from someone more powerful (and possibly capable) than them. these includes those who run to the law at every possible thing, or (since we're still in school) people who run to the protective arm of the parent or teacher at conflicts within the school. if you're not able to take flak and resolve things by yourself at this age... well... personally i wouldn't think much of you.

and also... i'm non too pleased with people who are hesistant about giving "the talk". ok even i'm hesistant at times because being so direct could have implications that are unplanned for, but sometimes you have to tackle the problem straight on. by yourself, most importantly. leaving a problem to worsen is like leaving an overripe apple out in the open. it's just going to rot and get worse. by all means, try alternative options to resolve the problem, but when it's time to resolve problems resolve them. don't let them drag for over a year >_> like i said... if you're doing something, even with negative consequences, at least people know you are caring. if you don't care you could very well leave the problem as it is, do your job and get the heck out in half a year. but if you're really responsible and concerned about a problem in the society you're part of or in charge in then it's better to DO something.

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if anyone reads the paper today, there's an interesting little snippet of advice from the pease family. i don't know why, for some reason their advices always strike a chord with me, even their books... but today's particular one made me think extra hard because of the striking resemblance to a situation i see in school. i'd really like to scream in someone's ear "wake the heck up" but that'll be a no-win situation so i'm just gonna hope whoever that is will actualyl read that small advice column... please stop using people as substitutes... it doesn't fill that hole in your heart. when it's time to move on you have to move on.

one last question (in addition to that already asked above) if you have a very bad news to break to someone, but that someone is happy with whatever situation s/he is in now, would you wait till the last possible moment to break the news, or would you consider that witholding information, breach of trust and get the information/bad news passing over and done with? at least it'll give them more time to accept it. opinions?

this goes against history

in the romance of the three kingdoms, liu bei visited zhu ge liang three times to enlist his help, and it was widely lauded as an act of faith and sincerity since he was a ruler of a kingdom. well.. i went back three times to old RI library and missed a certain person all three times... what does that say? ><

o yea, and those people who keep posting nonsense... you seriosuly think i'm not checking? looks like a 4-week warning isn't enough. done with bugging someone else and come to bug me?
wth.. why am i even wasting my energy and time on scum like that.

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kevin asked a rather interesting questions after bridge that day. but then it's his question and i shouldn't be koping it. so hmmm... guess i'll think on it a bit more.

oh yea, about that quote... well since someone doesn't seem to have strong objections i'm using it. "the music i listen to reflects the person i am" well... so what would i be, based on my taste to music? >_>
so just for a change i'm actually giving you peeps a more hippy music. well music may be hippy but it's still the lyrics that count innit? and the lyrics are rather reflective... i'd say.

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one last thing (short post, huh, i guess i'll make it a point to post again in the week) on tues mr teo made us play a sorta "game" guys vs girls. like supposed to tell our difference in thinking etc. =.= lame... like we didn't know already... also, there are biological differences. i don't think i want to go into detail again here, but there are lots of books out there that covers it pretty damn well.

oh yea, one more thing. i consider it rather a success to be able to pose as both sexes in an online game. seriously... i mean not just the avatar (because guys can play as girls and girls can play as guys) but most of them are rather obvious. guys pretending to be girls especially. they might as well carry a big neon sign proclaiming it >_> nvm... kinda ranting now... but it's quite fun to masquerade without gettin suspected, and busting ppl's covers in like 10 minutes XD

okok >_> till i think of something new. and hope the new music actually satiates some people's appetites

time to get a new resolution

oh no, not that i find myself unable to complete it or anything, but i'll talk about that later.

first, talk funny. like how funny J1s are when they're (in Mr David Court's terms) "cute and innocent". hahaha. not that you can be all that really when you're in J1... but anywayz, i think the seniors, especially the CCA leaders or something should like keep a book of all the funny bloopers and mistakes made when you first join the club or something. i know it'll make for a hilarious read when you're like nearing promos, or nearing As, when we're more proficient in whatever we are doing.

i mean, some of the mistakes i see today.. damn, don't make me laugh again (i know, i know, it's not nice laughing at people, but still, someitmes it's hard to help yourself)

one more side note: observation is quite cool. i've actually managed to decipher what makes one-sided relation-ending so crushing. wonder what i'll find out next.

oh yea, my ban count increased, once more... wonder if i'll hit my limit again soon =/

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gonna dedicate a whole section to this, i guess... not that i have much else to talk about for now... getting swamped with work... AND TRYING TO WORK WHEN YOUR BRAIN IS FROZEN IN 10 METRES OF PACK ICE ISN'T THE FRIGGIN BEST WAY! stupid airconditioning system ><

remember my old resolution (actually only 12 days old) trying to figure out why life is as it is now? well i've found out at least a few factors that contribute to that...

one thing is best summed up as the phrase "the apple always rots from the core, and problems always come from the head." but anyway, with poor leaders up there things don't work...

lemme try to explain this in as simple as possible usng words... in any group or organization, you have a head, and the sub-heads, or managers. the head is in charge of allocating tasks, and the sub-heads are in charge of distributing these tasks. distributing isn't so easy as to say "you do this, you do this, you do that". you actually have to match the person up with the job s/he is suited for.

an organization will work if the head is actively involved in operations. you cannot expect the head to function properly if the head doesn't even know what's going on. also, the sub-heads must do their best to help the head. it's not really much point if there's a power struggle going on at the lower levels and all of them are not only playing up each other but also ganging up on the head... then your whole organization would naturally collapse.

put it in reallife context. the club losing members? (of course i'm excluding the J1 trial period) members feel like staying away and not committed? something is wrong in the hierarchy, or they feel they're not important (DisEOS but whatever). Find that activities organized are crappy or participation is lousy? maybe you should look and see if the organizers are (a) enthusiastic in the first place and (b) in contact with who they are trying to get across.

(i'm trying to keep parties as vague as possible here so as not to offend anyone, humans in general (me included) don't take well to criticism =.=)

and another thing: people don't like to be TOLD to do things. if there is a tangible reason it may help greatly, but commands and orders will always meet resistance. if you tell a tennis player HOW to swing a racket and WHERE he is doing it wrongly, he will take a long time to learn, or may not show improvement. if you suggest concentrating on the ball instead of the swing, studies have shown they improve like 70% faster. to quote a certain *ahem* lecturer, i shan't go into the "nitty-gritty" details of why this happens, just that it does.

so what now? well i believe that i've completed part of my resolution, which was to find out what was causing the big difference. i've noticed a LOT more *politics* in JC life as compared to secondary (of course in primary school we were a lil too... young to understand these kind of things) take a step back and look at things... you'll notice them. it's my belief these are also another big factor in contribution to the problems. (P.S. i hate *fake* ppl... walking around trying to be who they are not... i'm not sure if they're trying to impress or what, but walking around with a mask on is like... so unnerving ><)

so... it's now changed to like... trying to remove or reverse this change. unless anyone wants to tell me they actually prefer the current situation to previously? i mean, my parents keep telling me i should think thrice before acting, not to be hasty... and staff members also quit or transfer, or go for further studies, saying it's easierto change yourself than the system... i find that a bit escapist... you're just running away from the problem, and sooner or later it's still going to catch up... or else you just left the problem to another person... it's not so much about contribution and credit now, it's more about trying to make a difference... to something you think is seriously wrong. i can say with confidence our club is sick, needs to be cured, just that we don't know waht will cure it.

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last note: i think i know what i'm going to do for research paper IF i manage to get into the university and IF i take econs as a major (still not decided =/)

week 2... already

sigh.. time flies. time, as always, is elusive, and we often wonder what happens to it on hindsight, and only in hindsight...

i don't get that may chances to look at the present J1s, for whatever reason. i've only seen them twice, i believe, and once was at lunch when they were at the canteen, so =/

but every time i look at them.. i get the feeling of regret... i was once that carefree and lively. just one year ago. no horrible nightmare looming in the distance, no worries, and no complicatedness of life. just a bundle of energy that keeps going and going like an energizer battery. what happened?

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it's sorta unnerving talking so suicidal people... something like watching a car rushing towards a small kid in the middle of the road but being unable to do anything about it except to watch. can't even close your eyes, even. i haven't gotten over that yet, although nobody else really knows about it. but i shouldn't go into that...

got many things on my mind this week. a lot to sort out, because new concepts jsut keep flooding in and it isn't easy or possible to make sense of all. but there's one thing i found the answer to, and hopefully i can get individual answers from you too. where did it come from? anime called "gift ~ eternal rainbow" =]

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in that particular world, everyone has a "gift" this "gift" can be used to make miracles, fulfill someone's wishes, more or less do anything. but there are a few conditions attached.

(a) you only have one "gift" in your entire life.
(b) there must always only be two people, a "giver" and a "receiver"
(c) the receiver must not know about the gift. (i.e. must be unaware)
(d) the giver and the receiver must be connected. meaning that the giver has to give wholeheartedly and the receiver must accept wholeheartedly.

now, you notice conditions (c) and (d) are the hardest to do. which makes the simple elegance of the idea so much more appealing. especially since the receiver has to accept something s/he does not know about. it really counts for a lot in the storyline.

anime aside, just from the concept, i would like to know what other people's answers are. who will you give the gift to and what would you wish for? keep in mind that all four rules have to be observed or the "gift" will be "misplaced" and be distorted.

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Endnote: i was supposed to change da music, but since the last month internet's been crappy and youtube music doesn't load well, i won't change it just yet. i've included a radio link to the new song that's supposed to be up so ppl can hear both at once =] (not that most ppl want to, of course >_>) and of course, a translation is always needed XD