the after-promo frenzy

ok... from the MASSIVE amount of posts i see everywhere, it seems people are somehow over-excited at the end of promos. to those who still have papers, i feel for ya =P
i don't know.. i'm not reacting at all. when the promos were looming i just studied a bit more but there really wasn't this presing pressure and over anxiety, and now it's over i don't feel the relief... hmm... must be because i ZEN too much.

what is ZEN? it's a... i wouldn't say skill... just something i "cultivated" through the years, one way or the other. basically, to anything that happens, don't show much emotion. you can *feel* emotion, that isn't a problem, but just don't show it. an impassive, or poker face. something extrememly good happen? ok. that was great. what made it successful? repeat it again. somethign bad happen? (like when i got 3/25 for math test) rage a bit internally, then start asking what happened, and how to make amends for it. in fact i think i remain impassive too much such that people don't even know what happens at times. sigh. (it's not a very good practice, by the way)

...

i have a *generally* good sense of direction. ask me a destination and i can more or less go there without a road map. ask me where's north at any time and i can point it out within 10 seconds. but this all goes out of the window in shopping districts and centres. i'm just hopeless in those places ><>< shopping's just not my thing.

oh, i didn't get what i wanted. i ransacked almost every shopping centre i found >_> a few months ago garfield the movie was out, and almost evey single corner you turn you see garfield dolls. now everywhere i go i see pooh, tigger, eyeyore, piglet but no garfield! grrrr who wants pooh bears?! in the end i went back to orchard and bought something waay beyond my budget. sigh. gonna have to scrimp and save the next few days.

and i think advanced geog last year rubbed off a bit too much on me last year... as i was going around looking for what i neededi was also kinda analysing the layout of those shopping centres. hmmm. and i didn't even know wholesale stores existed in Singapore. well it was kinda an eyeopener >_> anyway the layout of some palces are good. they kinda force you to walk through the various stores. others... well let's just say they waste space in the middle, where stores should be mroe visible, and they have stores stuck in corner, with bored assistants wonderign why there aren't any customers. NO DUH!

...

sorry, gotta go now ><

beixin, i will post about *that* tomorrow. i keep my promises

and matthew, if you're reading this i CHALLENGE you to 02 jamming session after your bio paper. hand-eye coordination very good right? prove it =P

dat's all cya.

No Sweat! Chicken Feet! Ha Ha! All The Way!

ok i'm blatantly copying from the SAF here >_> prolly shouldn't be saying this either hehe later i'm the one to get retained a year >_>

i'm not gonna post long today. i got my flyff to catch up on (6 whole levels, that's gonna take me 2 days at least!) and practice my 02 jamming ><

prolly will do a long bomb post on saturday, if lucky.

hehe, signing off first. i just had to get that title out lol.

Edit: ok i jsut noticed that the bandwidth exceeded, damn. well it's resetting in 8 days so all those who didn't get to enjoy the music can listen to it in a week's time =P

final words from me

tried to get a new song in today >_> apparently fileupyours doesn't seem like cooperating today. wellz, not my loss...

prolly my last post before the exams. hmm maybe it'll help with GP or summat heh. just kidding. but still, i'll keep to the point about discussing ideas only =P

i was looking through the past year papers. LOADS of them. i've managed to identify one of the 25 mark econs essays that i'm SURE WILL come out. i intend to get at least a 20 mark on that question >_>. as to the other essay, i'll think of that when the time comes. anyone wants a pointer on the questions and the "three old friends" that WILL be tested can leave a tag or ask me in school =P
and it's weird. Mr Wong says we should do synthesises, then distinguishing tests etc then last elucidation. i can do the elucidations perfectly well but flounder for the synthesis questions. i don't know what's wrong with me ><>< what's the garfield for? it's for my own personal Moeko. thanks for making life seems bright... during those few days... yea if you can find one please tell me where it is.

i had more stuff to talk, but i forgot it...kinda late now. maybe i'll edit later if i remember.

Edit: no i didn't remember, but the fileupyours server fianlyl came back on, so i successfully changed the song =P hope you ppl out there enjoy it. i've taken the lyrics out, since it wouldn't be nice for there to be another song that almost noone (including me) understand it would it now? i've only got about 125kb of bandwidth left, so if you can't hear it... you prolly have to wait till the 12th of next month =P

Edit2: i finally remembered what i missed out last night. TWO points, in fact >_> right...
ok it's rather amazing what soem bilogical research can do to seek out gender differences. it is said that in the 8th weeks of gestation (is that the right word?) hormonal effects start to take place in teh embryo. for the males, testosterone shoots through the system, making it aggressive in its approach, and a higher thirst for victories, large or small. on the other hand for females, estrogen shoots through, making it's communication skills better and more understanding. they also pick up subtle signals with regard to body language etc better. males take action better and stuff. interesting, though how reliable i'm not in position to say. still, if this comes out for the GP essay, there's at least one additional point you can write =P

and another thing... buyer products always build on the ignorance of the buyers, do they not? imagine this simple situation. a store sells a bun for $1.50. most people would think (if it's agood bun) that it's cheap and just buy it on the spot. now imagine the same bun, in the same store, with a different price tag. "cost of seed $0.05, harvesting costs $0.08, processing charges $0.10, warehouse storage charges $0.05, worker wages $0.12, taxes $0.18 etc etc etc total $1.00" even though it's only $1.00, which is cheaper than the previous $1.50, i still believe more people would buy the former. in fact there'd be an outrage "why should i pay storage charges?" "why do i need to pay for farmer's fertilizers?!" "why are we paying for your utility bills?" blah blah. it's all in the psychology.

er, right now i'm really lost >_> but i think it's long enough as it is. good luck to everyone for promos, don't worry or stress too much, and... i'll see the readers next week =D

start of (study) break

hmm, thanks for the feedback. so i DO make sense. whew! for a moment i thought i was just rambling on and on >_>

right. lotsa things happened this week, yet it seems not so. time passes fast when we're focussed, not when we're enjoying things. and sue, you're kinda scary. you LIKE exams? O.o oook... have fun and good luck >_>

gp essays... i really need a structure. for some reason i can't plan essays properly. they just come. more like, ideas flow as i write, AFTER i get my intro settled. usually my strong intro is the uh.. catalyst i guess hehe. no intro, no essay. simple. which was why i had trouble with the planning today... yea..

here's a little break since we're on the subject of love and marriage (which was one of the questions today, IMO) what do businesses, war, love and the stock market have in common? no it's not that they don't involve teachers, please that joke was old'ed. answer?

GAME THEORY

took me about 2 weeks to realize that ><>_>) planning your moves according to what you think others will do. same isn't it? actually they're all about self-explanatory so... think about that a little =P

...

and yes... i was just gonna say... everyone has their little Moeko in their lives. no it's not a common phrase or what not, it's just something i coined from something i read somewhere (am i being vague enough? ^_^") basically there are things that happen, or people that do something, which pulls you out from depression, restores your faith in people. they are often overlooked, but are offered at times when you most need it. happened to me last week. not gonna go into details, but finally i appreciate why teachers say a hand-made card or a hand-written card ismroe valuable than any bought and wrapped present. after all, it is, ultimately, the thought and effort put in that counts. i still have the card attached with me. things that mean the most to you, should be put near the bed, such that you see it when you wake up. reminds you of the things that are important in your life.

(i'm sure you've all heard this story time and again but i'm just repeating myself here)
a philo prof once came to class carrying a large glass jar. he filled with to the brim with golf balls. he then asked the class "is the jar full?" the class agreed it was. he then produced pebbles, which he also poured into the jar. the pebbles, being smaller than the golf balls, rolled into open spaces. the prof then asked the class once more and they agreed it was full. the prof then pulled out some sand, which he poured into the jar, effectively filling it up. (i cut off the rest of the story because it's not relevant to what i have to say here)

if you've read the story before, feel free to skip whatever i'm saying now because i'm just repeating. for those who have not, think of the glass jar as your life. if we fill it up with all the unimportant stuff, like reputations, image and what not, we won't have space for what's IMPORTANT to us, represented by the golf balls. fill yourself up with what is important. if you lost everything else but kept the golf balls, your life remains full. keep them close to your heart, the rest is just sand.

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i really wonder about the promotional exams... i don't think they'd outright detain us if we fail to obtain a pass grade. there should be some semblance of a re-exam or something, otherwise i'd be seeing a lot of J1s who are one year older than us, and yet i don't see a single one. so, something must be up in the spannerworks. just ave to figure out what it is.

it's 1:52 now. need sleep to study hard tomorrow. leave comments as usual please =P

P.S. it's tempting to talk more about intelligence versus diligence, but i'd be inviting flames and maybe a personal call from the ISD so... lets leave it at that. >_>

To the Observant...

you will have noticed a slight change in the stuff, like title and summary. nothing much. just a quote from my foolscap pad which i thought was quite relevant and useful. this is why i refrain from discussing personal comments about people unless it's like a private conversation. rumours created have huge negative repercussions.

and no, i'm not changing the template, boring as it may look. after all, this place is like a small sketchpad, or notebook. it is a place to pen down thoughts, to share experiences. we do that on a notepad, a platform for sharing. thus it will be used here. plain as it may be, it serves it's purpose. what's the point of a fanciful webpage that takes hours to load but doesn't really have that much of a signficance?

ok... truth to be told i was rather taken aback by whatever happened this morning. in fact i'm still not clear as to what exactly happened. not that it's in my business to care, but it would be absolutely insensitive to dismiss it nonchalently. like it or not, this happens within our social circle. i may not know that person, but it still strikes a chord. one thing i wonder and still wonder: these things don't happen on a whim and fancy. there MUST have been signs. not easy to be spotted, yes, but indication will be there if one looks hard enough for it. an abnormality, a change in outlook, something. it's all very well to say so-and-so is irresponsible, does not think of others blah blah blah... do we ever take a step back and look at the situation ourselves? in fact i was quite irked at the statement: "so thoughtless, brings so much trouble to the rest of us..." VERY disturbed by it. why? the statement totally reeks of self-interest. WE expect people to solve their own problems because WE don't want their problems to be passed on to us? great "caring and understanding educators" amigo.

Besides, it's a little late to do counselling and stuff. i will see how many people remember these things by new year's next year. i will, and i'm sure that class will. who else? not sure. counselling is supposed to take place BEFORE a problem arises, it is not a means of damage control. if it is to discuss about issues related and stuff, i have no problem with it. from what i've heard though it's another in-depth analysis on how we should treat life with respect and blah blah blah. PLEASE! i want to believe we KNOW what being alive means to us. there must be a very strong incentive to think that our life isn't worth living. the point is not to stress the importance of life! we already know more than enough of that! what they need to do as PREVENTIVE measures, is to find out what drives people over the edge, and find a way to reduce those factors. i would draw a graph to illustrate, but i think i've made my point clear enough.

also, from a study of sorts, both experience and observation, i've more or less noticed a few factors that make students (well obviously i don't know about the adult world yet -.-") hate school or life in general. yes. being observant can do wonders does it not?

1. social standing. those less social-savvy like me (-.-") may not mind it much, but to be loked down, bullied or insulted in some way has a very delibiting (sp) effect on the human mind. thoughts of unfairness and prejudice start to creep in, especially when such treatment is meted out by teachers. i still am indignant over my math teacher the past two years, but i still drag myself over to make a greeting for teacher's day, even though i don't feel like it. but seriously, as the old tale goes, "when one person tells a lie, and it is repeated 1000 times by 100 men, false becomes truth" imagine being told every single day that you're worthless, that you're a failure etc etc etc. it not only kills morale, but the outlook on life becomes bleak. losing hope in the future, in life, is THE most critical thing that CANNOT be allowed to happen. you can go on and on about how life is important and it wasn't easy bringing us up. so what? we've lived life to the max, everything is downhill from here. what's the point of living? get my drift?

2. learning speeds. has applied to me since primary school. heck yes. see, in some schools learning is slower. the more outstanding ones, or the more hardowrking ones will excel at stuff. completely natural. go to one school like RJ, the situation completely changes. someone used to getting high grades are now barely passing. why? 'cause we have the IQ zing-zing 200++ ppl concentrated here. and in a gathering of talent, you need to have real substance to shine. hard work? extra tutoring? pffft. may help a bit, but isn't going to do much when people are understanding in 10 minutes what you take 3 hours on. morale falls, the incentive to study drops. the rest, as we say, is history.

the other factors don't apply to us. trying to keep it short, i won't mention it here.

but there is something weird about the school policy. yes making an announcement and all that is good but not releasing any more info or the circumstances in which it occurred... do you realise what that's gonna lead to? gonna lead to a hell-spawn off rumours, that's what. open-information is always better than speculation.

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ok, enought about that ><>_> uh... i have about 215MB of bandwidth left. lot less of the 10-year old spammers since it's the promo period heh. that's good i guess. when the bandwidth is full i'll switch to another song. much more relevant one. actually all the songs i've posted so far are relevant... more or less >_>

and lastly... just wanted to speak of something i heard on the opening episode on a drama serial. no i don't watch them. haven't touched TV in a very long time. just happened to be at the coffeeshop we went to eat that day. and it was a great quote. first, you must understand that in each of our lives, we meet and affect more than 100,000 people. we change the lives of more than 80,000 in some way. that's a proven fact. of course, these are minimal values, so those with a larger social circle would probably see that number multiplied a few times.

anyway, ever wondered what are the slim chances of two people meeting and falling in love? the calculation turns out to be somewhere like 1 in 2.8 million. used to be less but increased with the information age and stuff. anyway, yes that statistic befuzzles does it not? treasure what you have =P. and of course, the chances of staying in that strong relationship until old age is even slimmer. i believe the percentage in Sngapore is 68%, give or take a few decimals. yes, it is hard. but it is also a long journey meant to be enjoyed.

speaking of which, nobody managed to solve the question i gave out quite some time ago? about writing that essay in 30 words? sigh... answer then...

First love: can't stop thinking about him/her
Passionate love: mother says go east, he/she says go west, i go west.
Lost Love: He/She gets married, i'm not the grrom/bride.

count the words. it was said this essay received top marks! who says you can't be concise with essays? =P

ok, it's now 2:20. gotta get some sleep. out.

first time in 9 years

thanks neeti. appreciate it =P prolly save it for yourself though, since it's after midnight now =P heh i can prolly count the number of ppl who remember it on one hand. even my grandparents don't know -.-" worse part was i didn't even get to spend the day the way i wanted... siiigh. not good to be right before an exam period.

ANYWAY, hi sue. well, everything proves to be a good read, if we have the time for it. time is an elusive thing, but something we should cherish. after all, there are only a fixed 24 hours in one day. how we allocate these 24 hours is quite different though. of course, different habits and body requirements does make a difference. for me, i'd rather go without a few more hours of sleep =P

ok... now for the meat -.-"

i suppose neil humphrey got his wish... i still remember what he said in his speech that day... well sigh. i still remember croc files rather vividly. it's not that it's an especially good film or something. after all, most nature documentaries, by themselves, are rather awe-inspiring by themselves. it boiled down to his attitude. see, when someone is over-enthusiastic and over-excite, it kinda inspires. just like when you have an outdoor adventure instructor, it's always better to have a energetic one that keeps a smile all day long and literally flies about, than one who pulls a long face all day and looks like he'd rather be somewhere else.

in the end, it all boils down to attitude. especially in impromptu, when you have to come up with things fast. if you keep a confident composure and stuff, even if you fumble or stutter people won't really take heed of it. note that it's confidence here not arrogance. take things in stride, and TRY not to be overtly defensive. yes, sometimes even i get overly defensive. that's not a good thing.

keeping a cool, calm and rational head is also all-important. getting tempers up, having heated arguments aren't going to solve any problem. that's why i hate arguing with people who raise their voices, or are just arguing with a head of steam. over-attachment or being over-emotional clouds one's sense of judgement. actions and morals should be determined by reasoning and logic, not emotions. but often, emotions are the ones that rule us.

take for example. the next economic chapter talks about risk taking. heck let's not go into that yet. just say you want to buy a new... say a bag. we can look at the price, comment about it's shape or colour, whether it has enough pockets or stuff, but when it comes down to the decision to pay up, it's ultimately an instinct. there you go, "impulse buying". there's no real logical way to put it. it just is the way.

which reminds me of a story quite some time ago. i'm not sure if i've mentioned this in a previous post. you know there are shopaholics and people who jsut love to shop just for the sake of it? i don't really believe that they WANT to buy something. it's just that it takes their mond of things or summat. i'm not an expertise in this area. probably some of the girls wil help me out on this one >_> but anyway it's mainly due to financial restrictions that's why these people window-shop. if they were given a large credit, or almost unlimited credit, i would believe they would actually be BUYING things. after all, when shopping it is much more satisfactory to be trying, testing and buying things than just browsing and looking isn't it? how's this for a thought. make a departmental store, that every $20 you spend gives you a "credit card" with say... $6000. virtual money, of course. but this card can be used in the shopping centre, as real credit. you get to experience almsot everything like you really bought the things, like wrapping, like tallying up at the counter blah blah blah. only difference is that you leave the things at the entrance before you leave. so you leave like $6000 worth of things at entrance, and the staff will put it back. you get to experience all the thrills of shopping and more! whaddya think? heck, even i don't know whether it's feasible >_> just some random thought that popped up...

...

psychology is a very interesting field of study. how the human mind works. i've been reading a couple of books written by one psychologer and past-principle of i-forgot-what-school (the book's all in chinese and i'm a lil rusty) it's an interesting read. i shouldn't bore readers with the details i guess...

remember the old chinese adage for saying revenge is sweet even 10 years down the road? can't be any truer. got TWO instances where this applies.
one, when someone commits an offence at a young age, especially if there's a victim such as bullying. if you really want to be evil, don't do anything. pretend nothing has happened. more or less, that will just condemn that person, unless for some reason his hand was stayed later, and by that time it would have been too late. just think like this: at a young age, we have no idea of right or wrong, good or bad. we only know deterrents and punishments. so if you don't complain about bullying, that person will continue to believe it is all right. and since it is "all right" and he's benefitting, he will go on doing it. not to mention nothing will be done about it BECAUSE no one else KNOWS about it. imagine this goes on for years. what becomes embedded in his mind? i don't think i need to say any more.

in fact there's a story connected with this. it involves the military in China. one of the recruits was a brash arrogant *person* (i will not use expletives here) and he always wanted his way or wanted things to go his way. bullying, threatening etc were not uncommon. well, he wasn't the only one, after all. lots of recruits come in with weird mindsets or something. but the discipline is strict and all such cases, when reported, will be punished. well not too severely at that point in time. probably physical punishment or something. but no, his troopmates decided not to do anything and see what becomes of him. i'll tell you what happened. after he got transferred to the aircraft maintenance department, he got into an argument with one of the pilots. not happy with the pilot, he went to sabotage the plane, almost caused an accident too. of course, he got court-marshalled. 12 years, if i remember correctly. just think: would he be doing something so rash if he had been dealt with right at the beginning?

and another thing: the worse thing to most people, the THING that brings more regret than anything else, is to have known someone famous or influential, HAD a good relationship, but botched it. i have quite a few examples, but i don't think i need to elaborate. it wouldn't affect you much if you DON'T know a certain famours celebrity, but to have once known that person, had a good relationship that ended by your fault... it's just the pits. well, now i know what to do, especially to those who haven't been that nice to me =P payback in 30 years, just watch >:-)

that brings home another point: is it always that important to win in everything? especially arguments. heck, even relationships of the business sort. people in our lives make up what we are. so what if we win an argument? so what if we make a major deal by offending 3 people? the cost of victory is just not worth it if it jeopardizes relationships between people. but then again... almost everyone here is hell-bent on winning every single little thing. makes the world a much darker place.

that's about all i should say tonight. partly because it's now 1:30 in the morning and partly because if i make it any longer people will start nodding off reading my post XD. just thought i'd end off saying that, well, it is true that it is much harder to be a woman in this world than a man. no not talking about rights and stuff here. just in general. general, like even being yourself. not easy. how? i'll talk about it next time if i remember =P

exactly one week and one days

hi beixin... errr wtv you say lor. heh. know yourself =P

my dad's yelling at me to turn off the com. but i shall just promise here to post tmr. another monster post like the last one. that's what comes of storing everything up =P um.. yea.