final 2 days of school

yea.. happens every year. i can't believe it every time but it still does happen every year. i'm going to miss school. the days of interaction and pure fun with people. the days of puzzling over difficult problems and finally coming up with answers. the days of fervoured studying in an effort to pass, whatever the cost. some things, we miss during times of peace and boredom.

anyway, that aside, what do you do when you're super-bored and stuff? no i can't play much games because my main com broke down (it just had to break down post-promos -.-") and this com barely supports IE. so... no guesses?

reading online stuff. that's mainly it... like fanfiction (boy, i haven't touched those since 3 years) and stories (but they only ever span 2 chaps max) and... keeping up to date with things. actually, i'm pretty surprised. considering i'm one of the most ill-informed people all around, knowing something at a scale as large as this... well. it's kinda quite funny. what am i talking about? um... i don't think it's ok to mention it here. read the papers today (tuesday) or maybe they will talk about it tomorrow... uhhh... yea...

but about arguments... i find most of the arguments put forth... blasphemous. i mean, it's nice to read stuff that actually makes sense, read a reasoned debate about the issue, but when insults and vulgarities are flying around all over the place, there's seriously not much point in reading further. to those who presented a good argument, whether flawed or not, it's appreciated. to those mindlessly hurling unintelligible insults and stuff, please don't spoil the experience for other people.

actually, this also makes me think of something else... when making a reasoned debate, or argument, if your opponent isn't calm and logical, then the best course of action is to walk away. firstly, anger and irritation cl0uds the mind of logic... and besides, if the will is hell-bent set on a particular viewpoint, then there isn't much point of arguing, is there?

reading fanfics... yesh... brings back memeories. and i still believe in the fact that i can tell whether the authors are males or females. it's pretty easy after a while, really, the writing styles are somewhat similar. then again, i don't read much of the action-action stuff. comedy is nice but the originality, not the lameness -.-" is what's important. but a truly talented writer shows in his writings of fluff and drama, most notably either angst or romance fics. well... maybe i'm reviewing too much, eh? =P

just one quote that i felt had to be shared. there's truth in it, and it's so real... i don't rightly know how to put it in my own words... well... just.
too often we wish we can take someone else's place, to ease them of suffering, to stop their pain. failing that, we try to be around, try to share the grievance. but when you know it's happening, yet are powerless to do anything, that is truly torture... just like i've watched people i am concerned with, presonally, be burdened by too many things... sometimes to breaking point, at times at which tears flow, but am unable to do anything for them, due to *certain* factors...
eh, never mind, i'm rambling now... good day to all.

...

“It’s always a horrible choice to make, but ultimately, you’d rather bear the burden yourself than seeing someone you… care for get hurt instead, even if you know that person would be devastated at your choice. Is that bravery or cowardice?” - Embrace, by Pureauthor (FxA)

bored, sick and tired

ok there were 6 ways to rearrange the words in the title... bleh i've been doing too much math.

anyway, to whoever the poster was, next time i would appreciate it if you identified yourself. anyway, the saying goes that a picture says a thousand words. a song only has a few words, but it does reflect quite a lot, personality, current feeling etc etc. as a matter of fact i'm doing what the song is saying right now... but never mind that eh. does that answer your question?

life is boring after promos. i'm prolly gonna get lynched for this but before the exams there was something to look forward to, not to mention certain assignments and stuff to keep things interesting. now that everything is over it seems so boring >_>... too much play is tiring too, as calvin from calvin and hobbes will tell you... well there's always OP for PW...

nothing much has been happening, which also means i'm running out of things to say. not to mention borrowing is now restricted in the library in view of stock take... so less things to read... sigh.

i didn't really have much to say this week until i flipped open the paper today. well apart from the small articles (esp one or two in the lifestyle section. about decision making. that one is good) the relationship thing just outraged me. well, i didn't really react on the surface (in control, remember?) but the news shouldn't have done something like that. i mean, just leave those two alone in peace, dammit. publicity is like the worst you can do to a relationship.. however good or bad it may be.

just think in school terms. the one thing that kills or puts most people off from relations is the negative publicity. of course there are always the people who don't really care what others say, and i respect you for that. or more likely, you have good friends who don't pass some very unwanted remarks. that's only in the small school community. now if you broadcast it to the world...

at this point in our lives, most of us want to experience a little of phenylethylamine and diprocarin. (in case you don't know, they're the chemicals produced in situations of romance and infatuation, giving the feeling of confidence, happiness and contentment) it's natural, so worry not about that... or you can bring it under super-tight control like some of us >_> anyway, if you wanna pass a comment, crack a joke about it, please do it privately with the parties concerned, and don't go around announcing it to the whole wide world. let them have their peace. when they're ready to announce it, they will.

i was intending to post something about decision making after reading the article in lifestyle (p17) but i think the article itself is more than self-explanatory... so just read it! =P

searching...

looking for the song i want... got a *part* of it up... i can't find the full version, if there is one >_> well if anyone knows where to locate the full version pls give a contact or something? two cookies this time (::) (::) hehe

they say a song reflects feelings.. i don't know how true. hmm.. you be the judge i guess. at least we should be happy for someone now... eh wait, i'm sure they don't read here anyway... but i still remember that discussion we had quite a few months ago... and well, never mind, eh.

yea... econs was disappointing. >< broke my record too... damn.... well there's gp tomorrow, although i don't have very high hopes for that one -.-" well see. take life as it goes. that's all that happens.

P.S. how come nobody got the last quiz correct? or just so happened nobody visited >_> well.. too bad, no cookies heh.

P.P.S. i managed to find a better quality version, but it's still not the full song and it can only be played once. so those of you who have a slow connection may experience a lil lag, just refresh and it should be fine. sorry >< i would upload it but i'm fast running outta bandwidth...

Ep 1: it starts here

heheh. chem WAS terrible. got my grade now and happy liao so XD never mind, eh?

wow my bandwidth not exceeded yet. nice. doesn't matter i'm changing songs. this new one... well isn't all THAT good, since it was taken from a promotional trailer for a particular XBOX game. what game is it? i think you can guess it yourself more than sufficiently, due to the couple of stupid announcements... was never good at editing musics >< heck, a cookie (::) for the first correct guess XD

*removed* if you missed it... too bad eh?

slight delays

yea well... i'm gonna have to delay the next post slightly. (a) i COULD type it but i might not be fully awake for preparations tmr (b) everyone's too busy making sure the open house runs smoothly to read, anyway >_> so... after this mess is over, i'll think about it.

odd, isn't it, that almost every CCA wants to grab... you think there'll be some coordination and stuff but nooo.... it becomes an "every-CCA-for-itself" royal rumble -.-" and seems nobody ever thinks... do people actually look at the CCAs that much when it comes to open house? i highly doubt it.

o yea, i might change soundtrack soon. bandwidth is a problem, so linking to youtube, althought the musics there aren't as nice, might be a temporary solution -.-"

what a week...

the com, or at least something doesn't wanna cooperate. i was thinking after promos i could take time off and go play what i waned... noooo... it had to break down... so i spend these days lounging around not being entertained and AFTER that i've still got to restore the whole system back. bleh. not my idea of a good week.

anyway, it was someone's birthday just 2 days ago (today is sunday) so... heh. not that i think that person even knows this exists but =P you know what we should say already hehe.

...

ok... in times of extreme boredom and stuff what do you do? well everybody has their individual preferences i suppose, but i find a good book quite irresistable. the library in our school has quite an extensive philosophy collection. heck, i bet some of the things in here will come in VERY useful for our GP essays. i still remember some of the topics given to us the days directly before our promo exams. total of 14... yea, and it's been stuck in my head for a while so decided to do some reading up and stuff...

remember the thing about statistics? i forgot the exact question, but it was something like "statistics show everything but tell nothing" well i wouldn't say that exactly. statistics tell you that there's a correlation between things, but doesn't tell you how this correlation comes about. for example, studies have shown that a child whose home contains more books is more likely to do well in school. all this tell us is that there is a positive correlation between a child's grades and the number of books in his/her house. which causes which? does the increased amount of books cause his/her better grades, because s/he reads more, or has better educated parents, or does his/her better grades cause this increase in the number of books, because the child wants to read more? statistics don't tell us that.
which leads to some major fumbles. there's a positive correlation between effort and result, so we put in more effort and we get more result. that's all fine and dandy. now change the scenario a bit. there's a positive correlation between crime and the number of people locked up in jail. so some smart people will come up with the theory that if we release people from prison, then the crime rate will fall. preposterous? no... it's all in how we interpret the data. we see correlations... how do we explain these correlations... is up to us.

...

and a thing about acid-base reactions.. if we add acid to a base, we get salt, right? we add more acid, we get more salt, right? but there will come a time when the base runs out, and adding more acid will not achieve anything. this probably can explain why some people keep trying old methods that have worked in the past, yet are puzzled that it no longer works. maybe the circumstances have changed, or just maybe the base has run out. we can't always rely on the same old methods. we constantly have to find new ways of adding base, to continue to reaction.

just a disclaimer: the following point brings across some sensitive subjects, especially those dealing in romance. romance, when brought into a scientific light, loses all meaning. i'm giving a warning here... if you want to read on and understand how it occurs, don't blame me for losing your romanic appetite

and the last topic... brings back another one of those essay questions. "a couple in love should not marry". personally, i've long tried to decipher the relations between lust, infatuation and true love. not easy. but quite a few books seem to favour the last theory, and i'm going to assume some of the facts are scientifically proven. in fact it's quite convincing to me, because given all the ifs, it relates to what we've been doing the last few months: organic chemistry!

lust typically occurs instantaneously. it forms as a result of the mixture of cingulatocin and ganglamine, both being produced in the brain. it gives a feeling of intense euphoria, and hinders the process of the right brain, logical thinking. duration? between 3 hours after meeting, and up to as long as a couple of weeks. what happens after then? infatuation kicks in.

once again, infatuation has got something to do with organic chemicals disturbing our system. dopamine (pronounced do-pa-mine) gives the feeling of well-being, phenylethylamine increases interest and excitement level, serotonin gives emotional stability (such that you don't go mad with happiness) and epinephrine gives the sense that anything is achievable. i would draw out these chemicals... but it's quite unfeasible on word, and anyway these are rather common chemicals that can be searched with google. back on track: so now you know how the feelings comes about when someone goes glassy-eyed and declares being in love. this also sheds some light on why people don't seem to act rationally when reality kicks in, especially after rejectment or "competition". the body immediately stops production of these chemicals. the loss of serotonin is the biggest problem, it causes emotional unstability. the loss of epinephrine also means that depression is likely. psh, anyway... the infatuation period lasts anywhere immediately after the stage of lust, and can extend for up to twelve months. after which, these chemicals are again converted...

truth be told, i haven't managed to find what exactly happens after the infatuation stage. all i have learnt so far is that the chemicals slowly dissipate, (as opposed to rejection where they stop in one fell swoop) and the infatuation, as well as the feelings associated with it, is slowly lost. what happens next is not very clear, but in my humble opinion this is where the crux comes. how things move on from there. marriage, is a way, is the ultimate test of romance. whether the trust between the two people can withstand time, a challenge more difficult than any rumours or scandals can be. marriage, the ultimate affirmation of a bond shared by two people, is a test, is all. upon passing the test, life is *more* fulfilling. just like how life seems good after passing an exam. which also, for me, explains why people who marry like 3 years into a relationship generally don't break up all that easy. because the decision is made outside of factors like lust, infatuation whatever, and the right brain, the area where logical and long-term thinking takes place, is not impeded by any chemical the body may be producing.

question: why do we experience these feelings of lust and infatuation then? would it not be ore practical to immediately use our logical brains to evaluate whether someone is suitable for us? theoratically, that is the case. but nature is cunning. what she wants, is to ensure each and evry species reproduces. as fast, and as much as possible. fidelity, monogamy and all that, are human creations. nature doesn't care. what she does, is to equip us with the ability to reproduce quickly. and how does she do that? by making us fell the urge to reproduce on meeting possible partners. whether that person is capable of being a good partner doesn't matter. it's not going to be long-term anyway, in her opinion. the lust period is the set off the process, and the infatuation period is to sustain the interest, such that at least, the baby will be brought into the world safely. after that, who cares?

not nice, i warned ya. but at least it does help to explain certain things. hopefully, it would help in future essays too!
next week, probably sometime in the middle, like thursday, i will start on a series. the difference between men and women. uhuh... in spite of all the activist thingies and being politically correct and stuff, many people miss out the fundamental differences between the sexes. things don't change. and it's going to be too looooong in one post, so i think a seven-part series would do nicely. until then... got quite a lot of things to think about, no?

the 8th tooth... is the wisdom tooth

sorry, was reading a story about it here... yea has plenty of interesting concepts. for example, did you know that using your tongue, you can only count up to a maximum of six teeth of someone else's, starting from the front teeth? *i'm NOT goin into te details of how to do that here* interesting fact.

those of you who hate exams and tests, better stay away from fame and stardom. every single thing they do, every event they go to, is akin to an examination, with the world and audience as the examiners. everything they do being watched and subconsciously graded. i don't know why myself. it's just like that. so... an exam almost every moment of the day... would you be able to stand that?

hmmm.. and there's one more thing... people like to believe in whatever they can get their hands on. they like to believe in things, and that's another fact of life. belief gives hope, and even complete myths, when viewed in the light that it is the truth, will be taken. for example, pills that were duds weren't discovered till 8 years later, and this happened in China. what happened? how did those people heal? it's in the psychology. believe in something, and it will become true.

ah yes, i owe a post...

there are times when we feel we are alone in the world. happens all the time. it's because of how society works in general. people like to be in hordes. i've stated this a long, long time ago and i doubt anybody remembers, but there is a natural "herd instinct" in all of us. we try to conform to the majority. and sometimes, the majority may be wrong. i will prolly talk a lot more when i get the opportunity, since it's not 1:30 at night, and tmr i'm going to school to mug some more >_> weekend's over... time to start work again -.-"

i had a picture stored somewhere... i'll post it tomorrow, perhaps.